Are You a Perfectionist? Here’s How to Let it Go

We’ve all been there — lying awake at night, kicking ourselves over and over again in our minds regarding something we screwed up. No matter how much we tell ourselves that no one is perfect, this is a case where believing it is easier said than done.

The next time you find your perfectionist tendencies kicking in, remember these strategies for letting go and moving forward.

Focus on Experience, Not Outcome

Even if something didn’t go exactly the way you wanted, chances are it was still a worthwhile experience in the end.

For example, you might not have hit a goal time in a 5K, but you’re probably in better shape as a result of the training you did for it. Or maybe the cake you made for your child’s birthday party didn’t turn out exactly as you planned, but I’m sure the kids still devoured the sugary goodness just the same.

By reflecting on the positive elements of these experiences, you’ll feel better about yourself and be able to honestly reflect on what you can do better next time around.

Don’t Apologize for Imperfection

How many times have you said to yourself or someone else “well, no one’s perfect?” Probably a lot, but it should stop!

Every time you say or hear that phrase sarcastically, what you’re doing is apologizing for not being perfect and setting the expectation that you should be. The same thing applies to saying that someone has the “perfect” house, car, life, child, etc. The more we say it, the more we all feel the need to live up to an impossible expectation.

Be Okay with Being Okay

In short, don’t try to be the teacher’s pet all the time. At its heart, perfectionism is all about seeking approval, whether from yourself or from others. It’s what drives a lot of people to push themselves to places of anxiety and tension only to be let down in the end.

Chances are, whoever you are trying to seek approval from will still give you that approval even if you don’t reach whatever idea of perfection you have in mind. If that’s not the case, it might be time to re-evaluate that relationship and focus on whether it is a positive one for you to have in the long run.