The Secret to Getting What You Want

While it’s true you might not get what you want all the time, there are ways to help make it happen more often than not.  From asking for more money at work, to voicing your desires to a romantic partner, these are often very difficult conversations to have — which is why most of us avoid them. Breaking through those mental barriers can lead to great results!

Start Small

If you’re new to the practice of asking for what you want, starting with small, achievable requests is a great way to build your confidence.

No matter how small, write down your request before you make it and be mindful about your reasons for making the request. The more organized your thoughts are, the more confident you’ll be during the discussion.

Once you have a few wins under your belt, you can move up to larger and more complex requests.

Be Open and Kind

There’s an old saying that “you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar,” and that is absolutely the case when it comes to asking for what you want.

Even though you’re the one driving the discussion, it’s important to keep the other person’s feelings in mind and not offend them in the process.

Think about how you would want to be treated if you were the one being asked for something and show the other person the same level of compassion and understanding you would expect to receive.

Remember That You Are Worth It

Many people don’t ask for what they really want because deep down, they feel they are not worthy of what they are asking for. That is absolutely not the case!

Even if your past experiences have made you feel inadequate, it’s never too late to turn that around. What you perceive as someone’s unwillingness to do something may actually be simple ignorance. For example, it’s not that your boss doesn’t think you deserve a raise. Rather, he or she is so busy with their own responsibilities that the thought hasn’t really crossed their mind.

The bottom line? You’ll never know unless you ask. You’ve got nothing to lose and a lot to gain so ask away!