Embracing Change.

Change is a challenging subject for many. It can force us out of our comfort zone, and that can make anyone feel uneasy. But staying in that comfort zone often ends up being the biggest obstacle that is standing in your way of success. If you think about it, doing the same thing over and over again will not give us different results. One of the keys that successful people understand is that embracing change is one of the most important aspects in growing and staying on top of their game.

Being open to change means stepping outside of our comfort zone and right into the unknown. Yes, this can be scary, but the real secret is: you have to let it come. You have to allow it to come. Change comes after contrast, and as explained in The Vortex, by Jerry and Esther Hicks, contrast is completely necessary to help us redefine what we want versus what we don’t want in life. Contrast is vital to help uncover what works for us currently and for our ever-expanding souls.

We often get stuck in the contrast part. This could be getting laid off from a job, having a relationship end, or any other abrupt change that we were not expecting. And when this happens, the common reaction is to resist. We get lost in wishing and hoping for what we had, meanwhile resisting what’s coming next. It’s at this point that we struggle in the contrast.

So how do we honor the contrast, and learn to embrace the change? 

Focus on the lesson: Everything that happens in life is a life lesson. Both the good and the bad. All too often, we don’t realize that such experiences are in fact lessons until the scenario has passed. Being able to see and understand the lesson is a gift. When we are able to do this, we may find we don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future.  

Think back to a time when you experienced a lesson that shook you to the core. What did you learn about yourself? Did it lead to something new? Find the pearl that came from that life lesson. Chances are good you will be quite surprised at just what you were able to take from your experience. 

Think about the contrast. What happened in the situation that you didn’t like? Can you restructure the situation, and find out what you actually would like? Let’s say you got laid off from your job. Instead of falling into a rut, or blaming others, or wishing that you hadn’t gotten fired, when you take a moment to examine the situation, you might realize that you hadn’t been happy at your job, or that you’d been hoping for a change but had been uncertain how to go about it. This redirects your focus and energy on finding a wonderful new job. One of the positive things from this situation is now you have the time to find that new job. Think about what you do want from the contrast, and then it’s just a matter of redirecting your focus and energy.

Focus and bring your energy back to you. If you’re struggling with change, then you’re giving your energy away to the situation. You’re also giving your power away. Stop and take this time to reflect and do some evolving. Reflect on your wants and desires, and focus on YOU. Read books that share your passions, or journal all your ideas and goals. Getting clarity on YOU brings your energy back to you. You might be surprised at what you discover. Take back your power and put your new energy toward following a brand new path. 

Take things less personally. When contrast does come up, I like to reference one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel.  One of his agreements: Don’t take anything personally. I know, easier said than done. But this, like everything else, will get easier the more you practice. Often the first thing we do when contrast comes up is think, what did I do wrong? Should I have done it another way? We play the questions over and over in our minds, wondering just what it was we did wrong. Yet sometimes, we did not do anything wrong, though we dedicate countless hours wondering about it, wishing we could go back in time for a do over.  Try to look at the big picture instead of just picking apart your perceived weaknesses.

Check in with your support system.  I know when contrast happens we tend to feel we’re all alone. This is why checking in with your support system is most important. Change is usually a time where people begin to weed out some of the people they’ve been associating with and often, new people enter. Check in and see which family and friends honor you no matter what choices you make. Do a check-in and see how you feel about them, and ask them how they feel about you. It’s through times of change that you discover who your true blue friends are. Your support system should reflect who you are and where you want to go. You get to choose who cheers you on and supports you. When you have a wonderful support system in place, it makes embracing change a lot easier.

So next time change comes, try to be open and accept it. Allow it to come in. Learn from the contrast. What didn’t you like about it? Once you know that, think about what you actually want from it. Then it’s just a matter of redirecting your focus and energy toward your new path. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.