Conversation Starters for When You’re Feeling Shy

The holiday season means lots of time spent mingling at holiday parties, family functions, and other events. This can be torture for those of us who identify as introverts.

Striking up a conversation with someone you don’t know can be awkward and intimidating, but it’s something that even the shyest person can do with a little practice! The next time you find yourself in that situation, keep these easy conversation starters in mind. You might even put them in a note on your phone so you can pull them up when you need inspiration!

Ask Questions

The best way to start a conversation is by making it about the other person, not about you. Play the role of a journalist assigned to write about someone — what information would you want to know?

We can borrow even further from journalism by employing the “5Ws” method. Your questions to your conversation partner can focus on the areas of: who, what, when, where, and why. A few examples:

• Where did you grow up?
• What brought you here today?
• What do you do for a living?
• Where’s your favorite place to travel?

Be careful, though, not to let the conversation turn into an inquisition. There should be a balance of give and take and a natural back and forth rhythm to the discussion.

Find Common Ground

Throughout your initial questions, you should focus on finding places where you connect with the person you’re talking to. Maybe you share a common hobby or have some mutual friends or acquaintances.

If it’s the first time you’re talking to someone, steer clear of topics like politics or religion that can easily turn contentious. The more you get to know someone, the more you can delve into deeper topics.

Brush Up on Pop Culture

If you don’t normally follow popular sports, music, movies, or TV, it’s a good idea to review what’s happening in those areas before you are in a situation where you need to make small talk with someone.

No matter how old you are or where you live, everyone follows sports and entertainment to some degree, and you can connect with someone over the latest TV show or sports team victory!