Set Core Goals for a Strong Relationship

We all set goals in many aspects of life — in our jobs, our health, our finances, and more. But yet, many of us are hesitant to set them in our relationships, leading them to get off track as a result.

Setting goals is a great way to keep you and your partner on the same page about what you want out of the relationship. You will be able to notice problems more quickly as they arise and deal with them accordingly.

Here’s how to set those goals and put yourself on track for a strong relationship:

Practice Listening

The first step toward setting goals is for you and your partner to articulate your values and individual goals. In order to do that, you need to be committed to fully listening to one another without judging or jumping in to offer your opinion.

Goal setting is one place where it’s critically important to understand what the other person is saying. If that foundation is not there, it’s impossible to come to a shared understanding about goals.

This type of intense listening is not something that comes naturally to many of us, especially in today’s world of short attention spans and constant distraction. Start with small blocks of time and build up from there until you and your partner have adequately shared your thoughts and feelings.

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize

Once you have a list of your individual values and goals, it’s time to figure out where they align. Not everything is going to line up perfectly and not all goals are achievable; this is where priority setting comes in.

If you find that you are not agreeing about what your core goals should be, then it might be time to consider bringing in a neutral third party, like a relationship counselor, to help you work through the differences.

Again, this will require a lot of conversation about what’s important to you and why, but you should be well practiced from your discussions about values. Once you have your roadmap in place, you can go into autopilot and check in on those core goals as needed.