Set Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationships

From friends to coworkers to romantic partners, having a shared understanding of relationship roles will lead to more productive interactions and a better balance among all the relationships in your life. But setting those boundaries is easier said than done. Keep these guidelines in mind to help put you on the right track and make difficult conversations more manageable.

Put Yourself First

We’re all wired to want to help others, so this is a tough one. But in order to set a boundary with someone else, you first need to understand how you feel and what you want to achieve in the relationship. For example, feelings of resentment often arise if we feel like we’re being taken advantage of or not appreciated. The first step to changing those behaviors is acknowledging that they exist. Take some time away from the relationship to reflect on how they make you feel, and ask yourself how things could be improved. Encourage the other person or people to do the same, then come together for a discussion on everyone’s reflections.

Speak Up and Be Direct

Self-reflection and gathering ideas is not productive unless you’re willing to voice them to others in a direct way. Being direct is often misconstrued as being rude or mean, but that does not have to be the case. It’s possible to be courteous and polite while saying exactly how you feel. If the other person in the relationship respects you and wants to set healthy boundaries, they would understand and listen to what you have to say. While it might make the conversation a little more difficult at first, having a shared understanding may pay off in the long run and avoid confusion or overstepped boundaries down the road.

Know When to Walk Away

After self-reflection and conversation, the answer to some relationships might be that it’s not possible to set a healthy boundary. In this case, the best decision for you might be to end the relationship entirely. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, or another type of relationship, this decision is never easy. When in doubt, trust your gut and have faith that you made the right decision for your overall well being.