Setting Boundaries in Your New Relationship

It’s the start of a new year, and maybe that means the start of a new relationship or romance. Before things get too far, it’s important to set healthy boundaries to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page for long-term success.

Sounds great, right? But finding what those boundaries are and sticking to them is easier said than done, especially in a new relationship. Keep these guidelines in mind to put you and your new partner on the right track and avoid ending the relationship before it really begins.

Put Yourself First

This is a tough one because we are wired to seek approval from others, especially from romantic partners, and do whatever needs to happen to gain that approval. However, in order to set a boundary with someone else, you first need to understand how you feel and what you want to achieve in the relationship.

As tempting as it is to spend every minute possible with a new partner, take some time away from the relationship to reflect on how they make you feel, and ask yourself how things could be improved. Encourage the other person or people to do the same, then come together for a discussion on everyone’s reflections.

The Power of Direct Communication

Self-reflection and gathering ideas is not productive unless you are willing to voice them to your new partner in a direct way.

Being direct is often misconstrued as being rude or mean, but that does not have to be the case. It’s totally possible to be courteous and polite while saying exactly how you feel. If the other person in the relationship respects you and wants to set healthy boundaries, they will understand and listen to what you have to say.

While it might make the conversation a little more difficult at first, having a shared understanding will pay off in the long run and avoid confusion or overstepped boundaries down the road.

Knowing When to Stop

As unfortunate as it seems, the answer to some relationships might be that it’s not possible to set a healthy boundary. In this case, the best decision for you might be to end the relationship entirely.

This decision is never easy, especially when it’s a new relationship that’s still in the “honeymoon” phase. When in doubt, trust your gut and have faith that you made the right decision for your overall well-being.