Forgiveness is for you.

Forgiveness is a powerful word. At times, we find it easy to forgive others, while just as often, it can be quite a challenge. Something I like to ask myself is: Am I practicing forgiveness? This is especially useful when I’m feeling anger or uneasy toward someone.  

The bigger question, though, is why should we be practicing forgiveness? The answer is simple: Every thought we think creates energy, and life is all about energy. Think about a situation or relationship that doesn’t feel good. You might find that anger, shame, guilt, resentment or bitterness come up. These are toxins that live within you. You don’t even have to see the person, or be in the relationship anymore to be affected by this toxic energy. You may resent an ex-partner for the way the relationship ended, or you may blame your parents for a childhood that was less than stellar. But if our goal is to live a healthy lifestyle, we need to realize that holding onto toxic energy is not conducive to this. And one of the best ways to eliminate this toxic energy is through forgiveness. 

But forgiveness is a skill, and one that must be practiced. The more we practice it, the better we will become at being able to forgive. When you master the practice of forgiveness, it becomes as natural as breathing. Then we’ll be forgiving and releasing all the toxic energy and enjoying life more fully. It’s one more beautiful tool in your tool belt for life.

I know what you might be thinking:  But I can’t forgive them for hurting me. We’ve all experienced these thoughts and feelings. Forgiveness is not about saying it was okay; it’s about releasing the hope that the past could be any different. Really think about that—it’s powerful! We think forgiving means accepting what has happened to you. That is not the case at all. Rather, you are accepting that something HAS happened, and accepting the fact you cannot change the past. What you CAN change, though, are your present thoughts and feelings.  Forgiving is giving up the hope, not holding on, and wishing that it could be any other way than it actually was. It’s about letting go so that the past does not hold you hostage.  This can feel very scary at first, but once you let go, you can make room for something new to come in. Forgiveness is a hard lesson, but it’s one that you absolutely must master, because without forgiveness there can be no change.

One of my favorite mentors, Iyanla Vanznat, says: “We are all born into this life forgiving and for getting love. And when you don’t forgive, you cannot get the love that you want. So forgive, so you can get what it is that you want. Forgiveness supports you for giving more love.” I wholeheartedly agree!